Why can’t they understand?
Why couldn’t they see me for who am I?
Why that person, why that place, why that happened to me?
Have you ever encountered the same questions?
If yes, please take a seat. Don't forget to bring your afternoon coffee or tea, whatever suits you, and let's dive deeper.
Intermezzo
The Prison of Why
In my life, I was trapped in almost every place, every person and every situation, where I didn't fully embrace my higher authentic self. I suppressed my voice just to calm the waves.
I argued with people who had no interest in understanding me. I defended myself to those who had already judged me.
I was circling around:
Why was I having a hard day, bad emotions when I was with this person?
Why do they behave in such way upon me?
Why why why...
WHY?
Every road led back to the same questions. I dealt with "why" along the way. The more I asked, the heavier I became.
I stumble around then I came across a post that says stop looking for why, a why doesn't give you answer you're seeking, it trapped you even more. That's true though!
If I retreat to moments where I was stuck alone, dealt with vast chaos, I have always stuck with why as a question. I made assumptions, opinion-based reasons, guess what? Stuck again.
When I dealt with wrong people, I used to sit and argue, to prove a point he/she wouldn't consider, or it might be safe to say he/she would never understand of. They hadn't wished to look upon me and my POV.
People, oh almost everybody never got me right. I have to acknowledge that I am my biggest supporter.
A Quiet Turning Point
"Imagine being bitten by a snake and instead of trying to help yourself heal and recover from the poison, you're trying to catch the snake to find out the reason it bit you and prove to it that you didn't deserve that."
"Imagine being bitten by a snake and instead of trying to help yourself heal and recover from the poison, you're trying to catch the snake to find out the reason it bit you and prove to it that you didn't deserve that."
If a snake strikes, do we stop to ask it why? Of course not. The snake will never answer. The solution is not in why, but in how.
How do I treat the wound?
How do I protect myself in the future?
How do I rise stronger from the pain?
That realization changed everything.
I lost in the realm of WHY till I forget how powerful HOW is.
No matter how they treat me, or how a situation plays a role to my life, why should I know the reason behind it?
The Power of How
When I began focusing on how, everything shifted.
When I began focusing on how, everything shifted.
Why would not I ask myself how should I respond to these people or situations? How should I fight back to come out as a victor, at least for myself?
How to deal with a difficult environment like this? I should've thought like a hero that focuses more on the solutions rather than circling around why that poisons my brain.
The change was subtle but powerful. I started saving my energy, speaking only when it mattered, and walking away when it didn’t.
From why to how, that is how I think strategically in recent days. There is no urge to explain things analytically to people who do not really need my long-researched analysis.
I just gotta shout my mouth up, and walk away.
I have no energy to argue unless it has important value to many aspects. I'm very focused on how, rather than why, now. That is how I derive solutions from issues.
"People cannot see what you're seeing if they do not step on the same ground as yours, literally they do not walk on your shoes."
💡 Next Chapter
I'll talk about embracing the power of decisiveness into chapter 2 of this series. In the meantime, grab your headset, listen to music and come back later.
See you in the next chapter, bye!
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